The Wisdom of Loneliness

If you have felt consumed by loneliness, wonder if love will ever find you, or think that everyone else has someone except for you… then please keep reading.

What is the difference between being alone & loneliness?

In spiritual teachings the word ALONE can also be read as ALL- ONE.

Because we are ENERGY we are all connected.

I love that re-frame and yet…

It is easy to forget our divine nature—our “Sat Nam” as we say in Kundalini Yoga.

I still forget it sometimes.

I have felt so lonely at times I was depressed.

It wasn’t until I started “investigating” my loneliness that I could see there is wisdom in it.

In fact, after ranting to a therapist about how sad I was that I didn’t have a partner in life, she reminded me, “You come into the world alone, and you leave this world alone.”

I couldn’t deny that.

I think it can be easy to mislabel and confuse—being alone with LONELINESS.

Smart, single women come to me having so much judgement around what it means to “do things alone” that they have amplified the pain.

Thinking that—

If I am home alone on a Friday night.

If I spend a night on the couch watching netflix or

If i choose to spend a holiday by myself…

Then —->I must be a loser, no one loves me, no one cares about me.

I remember Christmas day one year, I didn’t have plans.

I was anxious about spending the day alone but decided to plan to cook & do something crafty.  Crafty is my sport.

Before I knew it I was happy clipping, chanting, & gluing by the fire.  I was happy & forgot about my loneliness for a few hours.

Then mid-day I got an invite to a dinner from a guy who I only had gone on a couple dates with…

I wasn’t that into it BUT…

I remember feeling like I really SHOULD go, it’s a holiday after all, so I said “Yes”.

I stopped my afternoon crafting by the cozy fire, got dressed up in holiday duds and forced myself out of the house.

I was miserable. Silently crying as I tried to politely choke down the can of mushroom soup bean casserole. <okay, don’t get in a tiz because I don’t like your Auntie Lucy’s prize dish>

I couldn’t wait to get out of there NOT because the casserole made me gag, but because I wanted to get back to myself.

I was really mad at myself for denying permission to hang out with ME. 

actually wanted to be alone. 

Loneliness on the other hand HAS a mission for you—

And it is NOT going away when you find a guy. 

Some of the MOST lonely people I have met are in a relationship.

And when you are with the WRONG person, it is the worst kind of loneliness.

Loneliness comes with a pain that is begging you for her attention….Here’s what you need to know about the wisdom of loneliness.

Watch this. 

AND—-Let’s talk about YOU finding the LOVE you deserve!  Right now I just opened up registration for my Big Happy Love & Love Advantage one on one Love Coaching programs for 2018.

If you are ready to create a real committed, meaningful relationship—-and want to have the support, healing & strategy to create it.  Apply here, and I will reach out to you to discuss this with you further.

Cat Lady Love Coach Confessions

I am not ashamed to admit I am a cat lady.

Yesterday, I got to live it for a couple hours hanging out with Larry and 17 cats in the Denver Cat Company coffee shop. So fun

Sitting there with a kitten on my lap, I flashed back to my single days right before my 40th birthday when I was feeling hopeless and like I would never find anyone.

I love animals, and at that time I had 2 chihuahuas and 2 cats. (Keep in mind 1 chihuahua = 14 cats. Do the math!) I would always say my chihuahuas were like “Dude repellent” because “men hate small dogs,” but truth be told I thought I was unlovable most of the time.

I thought I was too old. I thought I was too weird. I thought I wasn’t pretty enough.

When I finally turned 40 I thought, “I better start making being single okay.” My plan was to quit dating and adopt baskets of kittens and teams of chihuahuas and just buckle down to live a life alone.

Playing with kittens sounded fun. But my heart broke thinking of giving up because I so badly wanted to share my life with someone.

So that’s when I decided to do whatever it takes to figure out my relationship stuff so I could have the kind of relationship I was dreaming of.

I figured it out and what I learned has worked for so many other women who thought about giving up but are now happy in love, engaged or married—pinching themselves with excitement.

My mission is to bring more love into the world—- to help other smart, single women find love like they never thought could exist.

If you’re about to adopt 16 cats and delete all your online dating profiles, let’s have a chat about how love coaching can bring a quality guy/cat lover into your life. Click here to schedule!